Sorry, it's been a while

Hi. As I say, I am really sorry it's taken me so long to write this. I do have a good excuse: I feel like crap. All the symptoms are getting worse, especially the voices and tactile hallucinations. All I want is a few minutes silence. Is that really too much to ask?

I saw my psychiatrist this morning. He's going to try stripping back my meds, gradually, to see if I could do better starting from scratch again. My social worker came with me, as I get so confused sometimes, and I forget to ask the questions I want an answer to. I' going to half the araprazole, and then half the olanzapine. HE says that the first change should go okay, but cutting down the olanzapine will be quite difficult. If will make it hard to sleep, but, as you well know, I don't sleep anyway, so it will be bad. I might have to go into hospital at some point, but to be perfectly honest I don't care if it will make me feel any better than I do right now.

I'm fed up

As the subject says, I'm fed up. I'm sick of being called a freak. I know I'm a bit weird, I'd probably be weird even if I wasn't ill, but I don't think that's freakish. I'm also not a freak because I can't see. The way I see it, I have an advantage over some people, because I hear better, and, because I have to, I listen more. I don't see how some people think they have a God given right to insult me, when they don't know me.