Wish em luck

I'm going to my local university tomorrow, hopefully to sign up for a part-time English literature degree. This is because my brain's getting bored, but I want to do a course that doesn't end up putting me in hospital for months on end. So, wish me luck...

Thanks to brute force for some things!

My fridge arrived yesterday evening. Sadly, after waiting the time I was told to, I turned it on, but couldn't open the doors. After running around like a headless chicken, I asked my friend and transport man Mark to help. He came in, and basically wrenched the doors open. Yay! So, I'll be stocking up at Tesco's tomorrow morning, before I go to work at the old people's home, which I've been missing the last few weeks.

Good luck

Just blogging to wish Pope Benedict xvi best of luck for his beatification mass for Cardinal Newman tomorrow. I know hen doesn't read this blog, but I just want to let those of you who do pray, that I'm saying one for him.

A simple replacement

I replaced my broken fridge, it cost me a small fortune.. I'm not boasting about having a lot of money, I don' , I'm scraping together what I can, but it's upsetting how much household appliances cost. I live on benefits, and it ain't easy.

All things are finite....

I know nothing lasts forever, but it doesn't stop me being mightily annoyed when my fridge breaks down. Firstly, there is the loss of food in the fridge and freezer: losing money and what would probably have tasted nice at a later point. Secondly there's replacing it. I've just about got enough money, but I didn't want to have to spend it mow, on damaged kitchen items, I wanted to save it, for an even rainier day.

Poetry

I got a book through the post this morning, a present from a friend. It was a poetry book, by Serj Tankian. I haven't had time to scan all of it into my computer yet, but what I've seen is great. I never liked poetry, until I studied it at A-Level, and now I write my own, as well as loving other people's work. Basically, what I'm saying is, try to appreciate other people's work, even if you're put off at the start. This woks for most things in life, not just poetry.

Life...

I hear things every day that upset me, that make me happy, that change my life. Today I heard about a person's life that was much worse than mine, but she coped admirably. I wish God would give me the strength and perseverance, and faith to deal with my problems, and show me how to help others through my own experiences. Right now I'm weak, and pray for strength, to have a "good character" and to help others in the way they help me.

You live, you learn

I thought I'd met someone genuinely trustworthy recently. He told me he loved me, and then turned on me the moment I told him he wasn't the total centre of my world, I'd got other problems to sort out. He turned on me, saying I was horrible, and a liar.

I guess that just proves it, people aren't usually what they seem, and you have to be so careful. At least I found out now, rather than later on in a flawed relationship.

When is depression clinical or otherwise?

I've been pushing for the last few weeks to have my anti-depressant changed (I'm sure I've gone on about it before here!). I think my opinion is beginning to change a bit, after having conversations with a psychiatrist and a couple of social workers.
They have suggested, that, although I do suffer from clinical depression, I'm also very unhappy. I'm socially isolated, through nobody's fault. My few friends are scattered all over the country, and it is very difficult for me to meet people of my own age, who share my interests. Also, the psychiatrist said that I know my life would improve in the next 6 months, but until then I'm waiting, and going through hell.
All that makes a lot of sense, when you think about it. So, I'm starting to look at ways of sorting this out. As yet, my ideas are a bit thin on the ground, but I'm going to keep trying!

Freedom!

I've been officially discharged from hospital today, and only seeing the Home Treatment team in the morning. Hopefully things will start getting a bit better from now on.

Full of hope (I think)

I've got a ward review meeting today. This where the psychiatrist decides if I can be discharged formally, or go on another week's leave. I'm hoping to be discharged, so I can see my usual psychiatrist, who knows me well. Sadly, there's absolutely nothing I can do to influence him, except for being good, and not doing what the voices say. I'm working on them not being real, but that's a bigger battle to win.