How was Christmas?

Christmas went fairly well for me. I cooked dinner for me, my brother and stepdad. I've started finding Christmas difficult, after my mom died nearly 6 years ago. I find my birthday even worse, as she died 5 days after my 21st. I'm not looking for sympathy here, its just a fact in my life, which I can't change, so should just learn to get used to it.

I also find Christmas hard because you're just expected to be fine, no matter what. I can't just turn on happy feelings, although I do always try, so other people don't get pissed off with me. It does annoy me when some people say that I'm just putting it on, that there's nothing wrong that all it would take to sort me out would be a job, boyfriend, money, or God know's what. This is so blatantly not true: do you really think I like being a mess, or make my own (and other people's) lives difficult, or at least uncomfortable?

Sorry, rant over! I find that if I don't go off on one fairly regularly, then I'll explode.That's about all I'll burden you with for now. Hope you're coping well enough.

Exorcism

Hi again!

One thing I don't like talking about, in relation to my family and my illness, is that, when I was 14, my parents had me exorcised, because my mum believed that I was possessed.

This must sound really weird to anyone whose family aren't strongly religeous/delusional, but, knowing my family, it doesn't surprise me at all. I don't remember too much about it, but I can remember being very frightened, as I was convinced that they must have been right, because why else would they put me through this.

All I can say to anyone in this position is that you may as well play along with it, because someone might actually start to believe you about what's going on in your head, if they've tried something that strange. Try not to be scared, it really doesn't help.

I hope this never happens to anyone reading this, but if it does, and you want to talk, send me a message.